The other morning, I was reminded all too well just how unpredictable epilepsy can be. Livy began having seizures at 6:00 AM and didn’t stop until 8:30 AM. By the time she fell asleep, she had close to 50 of them…50 in less than 3 hours. I sat there with her, wishing them away and then praying them away. “Please let this be the last one. Please, for her sake!” Waiting...then shaking again and again.
As I was stroking her hair to comfort her, I felt the scar in her scalp and the groove in her skull from her brain surgeries. They are in the past but they are also very much in the present. I was there in the moment, sad, so sad for her. She is just a child. After each seizure, she let out a small soft sound as if to say, “Daddy, please make them go away.” The look in her eyes brought me back to the NICU the morning Livy and Hailey were born. It seems we are moving ahead in many areas of our lives but we always have one foot firmly entrenched in the day our lives would change forever ten years ago.